Question: How do we cope with our ADHD/angry/grown-child who is living at home?
Answer: Unfortunately, I frequently hear “ADHD/angry/grown-child living at home with no job for several months and parents feeling helpless.” Blames you for ______ is also common. Not taking responsibility for one’s problems and life situations may be immaturity. ADHD kids are usually found to be at least 2-3 years behind. In more serious cases, frequent blaming behavior can be part of a personality disorder, which is difficult to deal with and may persist, sometimes for life.
One issue is leverage, or power. When kids are little you have the “power of the pop.” With teenagers you have “the power of the purse.” When I did hospital psychiatry years ago, sometimes the only leverage I had was cigarettes – I know, pretty desperate, but when that was the only thing someone cared about that I could have control of, that was my only option.
